Doctortayria's Blog

I have written recently on this same subject in anticipation of a retreat that just concluded here at Bridging Worlds. Because of some experiences with death over this past summer that prompted me to reach for better understanding in this regard, and I believe due to a powerful ritual with elder Muriel McMahon at a Journey Conferences event in October in which she taught about their Algonquin tradition for calling in the blessing of departed ancestors, the veil between life and death has felt very thin to me in the last days.

Today the spirit of a woman I had not known in the physical world, but who was talked about during the retreat and whose picture sat on our altar, addressed me while I struggled with a painful moment. I felt her energy as distinctly as if a friend had just walked into the room and I could see the face and body. Just as I was about to dive into a pained way of experiencing something, she injected another point of view. I knew exactly who it was and what she was saying. Because of her influence I didn’t take the plunge into practiced ways of interpreting the moment. She showed me something else, I could see it and take heart.

I am realizing that death is not as big a deal as we often believe it to be. It is the event of a spirit moving from one part of a room to another. They are still there talking, alive and influencing our worlds – not just as an idea or conceptual remnant of someone we once knew – but as living, conscious material, part of the physics of our reality.

Indigenous people know this and talk to people on both sides of the veil. In modernity we somehow wandered a distance in consciousness away from realizing what is going on, and have developed phobias and fearful misconceptions about death. If I move through the veil tonight for some reason, I can say right now that I will still be right here. It is not that far away. That realm is closer, in fact. No airplanes, luggage fees, or traffic difficulties involved in order to be together.

The last few days have been spent in a retreat here in my mountain home with a house full delicious, inquiring, open spirits and minds. We had a cook, Ali Ghiorsi, who made the experience an earthy paradise. The dream time delivered spot on images and key messages to work with. Soulful exchanges and dialogue flowed, increased and built exquisite castles of insight. We even had a classical trumpet player, pianist and song writer, Chris Moors, who ferried us into other realms through music. All the while the power of mountain held, shook and shaped us, and hearts bonded.

Inside of all this the element of time as it is generally and consensually perceived was lost. We might have been together for aeons. Dream and soul live outside of time, and so did we.

The schedule called for an ending at lunchtime on Sunday, but Mother Nature had other ideas. She shifted and stirred the recipe and made it clear that to safely descend the mountain before a huge storm hit, departures needed to happen after dinner Saturday night. Time condensed and expanded all at once on that late afternoon. Decisions were made, packing was accomplished, and left us free to relax into hor doeuvres, an extraordinary meal, candle light, laughter, deep conversation and a grace-filled closing. Our little calendars and clocks are so humbled by the force of Mother Nature.

As it turns out, she was just getting started on me. Today travel plans for Christmas have shifted backwards and forwards taking me on quite a ride. At this point I don’t know whether I will have a break in weather to leave, when or if that will happen. In one day I have had to adjust to the idea of maybe sneaking out if a break in weather arrives days sooner than I had planned to leave, and also to the thought that nature could dictate my having to miss Christmas with my family this year.

In last night’s news I saw footage of the cruise ship that Nature threw into a turmoil off the coast of Morocco, with all of the neat and elegant little balconies, swimming pools and plans everyone had expected to enjoy shattered and sunken into the water. I thought of it as a metaphor for my life and the whole world too. There was talk of people suing. Who? The ocean? The wind?

Our illusions of control need adjusting in a big way. I’m thinking to ride this wave and see what She wants. And I hope to do it in good humor.

This night my sweet cook arrived for the retreat this weekend. She swept through my house like a tiny hurricane organizing and preparing the space for the nurturing she will be doing for us during these days. She, my friend already here and I had a meaningful and celebratory meal and talked to prepare ourselves for the gathering to come.

In preparation we made ancestor flags, something I learned from an Algonquin elder and Jungian analyst, Muriel McMahon. We tied strips of cloth in black and white onto a string. Muriel had taught us to do this in general to bring in ancestral blessing and wisdom, but it occurred to me that we might think specifically of those who have gone to the other side who we would like to invite to be with us as we tied each tie. The three of us did this tonight, and it felt very strong. We hung the strings with the strips of cloth outside so that the wind can carry our invitation and prayers as the flags blow. I feel the prayers happening. We are getting ready.

Healing does seem to be a theme running through my awareness in a big way the last several days. Today a friend had a medical issue that was challenging to know how to think about. I called another friend who understands healing modalities from an energetic point of view, had spoken to one who is an RN and nutritionist, talked to my Mother and sister who pray – a healing modality that is actually finally becoming recognized by scientists – and did what I could do through my own heart and loving concern. With all of this going on I was thinking of Jesus’ words, “When two or three are gathered in my name, there am I in the midst of them.” So many hearts gathered, surely the healing one is with us.

Tonight another friend went through something similar; he needed to go to the emergency room but did not because of a lack of insurance. A different set of friends kicked in to care and send healing love. Again, the idea that a number of us conjoined carries a particular power. We have much to learn about the actual realities of healing. Medicine is a limited technology, there is much more.

I am having a retreat this coming weekend at my home and retreat center, Bridging Worlds. In the letter I sent out to the participants yesterday I suggested that each prepare their hearts for their journey here, thinking of it as pilgrimage. It is a pilgrimage to the center of the world – as the mystics say, the center is everywhere. It is a pilgrimage to the sacred mountain – as Black Elk says, the sacred mountain is everywhere. And it is a pilgrimage to the Oracle of Delphi because we will consult her wisdom from here.

I am here preparing and awaiting their arrival. But I am preparing my heart for pilgrimage too. As persons come together with sacred intention everything is changed, time and space are changed. I journey no less than anyone else. We move to a new dimension together where we are met by angels, guides, fairies and helping spirits who eagerly await our interest in their arts. We move to the space of listening to mountain, stars, wind and owl with considered intention. And we move to the realm of heart where we hear the beat of our own, each other’s and the earth’s heart more attentively.

May the guardians of pilgrimage intentions be with and guide us. We move with your blessing.

This model for the Western psyche, the man Jesus, was a healer. I don’t know how many of the other historically great teachers were primarily healers. Jesus didn’t seem to be about encouraging his followers to quest for enlightenment or greatness or even detachment. He asked them to love each other. He went about healing.

Of all of the other things we must be about in this world, all of the wonderful glories and joys of the world, the need for healing is the most basic. I love and am grateful for the meditation and example of Jesus in this regard. It simplifies priorities.

Does a bird remember yesterday, I wonder, or is every moment new? Sometimes a bird brain might be a good thing! Etchings made by years gone by can weigh the psyche down.

If I learn to shapeshift the very first thing I will do is become a bird and fly free. Then I will let you know what the bird knows of yesterday. I am guessing nothing.

I might disagree with Paul, I don’t believe in yesterday. I think John said that too. I’m throwing away the old maps and clearing the table.

The universe is complex and elegant, but in a way actually very simple. It is held together by an energy that pervades and drives everything, which is unitive. If we can be in touch with that unitive energy, then everything is simplified. We try to make life hard, the illusion is that it is hard, but it isn’t, actually. It is simple.