Intricacies of Change

Sitting outside the bakery in Weaverville in my car, in the dark and cold, in order to get an internet signal since we don’t have it in our new office yet, all day experiencing the delicate operations my current life changes impose at every level – not just physically but emotionally, psychologically and spiritually in terms of self-concept, world-concept, professional ideas, personal relationship changes, financial operations, caring for the balance of so many responsibilities as things shift – in my sense of overwhelm I can’t help but think about our brothers and sisters in so many nations who have been thrust into radical change without seeking it.

Change being the nature of the universe, and stability actually having very little to do with it since we are moving through space at an incomprehensible velocity, I wonder why it is that I, and we, tend to long so for stability and are inept, so often, at change. Why is change so hard? And why does the idea of stability remain the illusory, yearned for but never achieved goal? Friends have asked me what it is that I want, and I have replied on occasion that I simply want my life’s situation to stabilize. It has been in radical flux since 1994, and I get tired.

Will the people in Japan, Egypt, Libya, Chile, Haiti – just to name some obvious ones – have the luxury of stability anywhere on the horizon? Should any of us expect it in the first place?

Be careful what you wish for. I believe I need to do some conscious work on longing for trust in life’s endless velocity of movement. Digging in my heels and wishing for something other creates a lot of anxiety, problems and not much else, surely I know that.

I offer my brothers and sisters who are living with what feels like too much change, way too abruptly and uninvited, prayers in every way, maybe especially for some measure of release into the motion in their life to see what it holds for them and for all of us. They are our way-showers now. They humble me as I struggle to assimilate my small changes. At some level we are all in this together, though they have taken the great burden for now.

3 Responses to “Intricacies of Change”

  1. Darita-Rose Alden Says:

    The thought that comes is that the stability we seek is in God. “I am the Lord, I change not.” We kind of want to go home, out of the Maya grid, and that’s why people who have NDEs are sometimes really upset about coming back. But then they find that Light in others, in various experiences. The best one I’ve read is George Ritchie’s Return from Tomorrow. He found that Light in a Jewish man whom he was liberating from Dachau or some other hell. The guy was fit and happy, and Ritchie thought that he could not have been there long. But he had been there from early on. He had watched the Nazis gun down his wife and children. Right then he decided not to be like them in any way, not to be bitter or vengeful, but just to give. And he did. And was replenished by that constant Light every night.

    Thanks for this. Our journeys are so alike in certain ways. I learn so much from you. love, peace, blessings. DR

  2. Robert Hagaman Says:

    I believe we need to embrace change. Change is a sign of growth, a sign of advancement, improvement. Stability is the first sign of decline. Look at species evolution. Every species, every one, that doesn’t evolve, doesn’t change, faces extinction or irrelevance. Our lives are the same way. We can embrace the changes in our lives, and use them as opportunities for personal growth; or we can resist the changes, waste precious energy, and lose the opportunity for advancement in our personal, spiritual lives.

    As you have alluded to, the universe isn’t static; it’s a river. As it flows and eddies through time and space, so do our lives, our selves. If we stand against the flow, or try to resist it, we will either be pushed over by the relentless flow, or worn down to nothing by its friction. The secret is to use these flows and eddies to move through life, swim past the rocks in the river, eventually meeting the sea.

    My two cents, anyway.

    • Tayria Ward Says:

      Thank you, Robert. Your note reminded me that I had failed to title the piece, the intended title was “Intricacies of Change.” You’re right on in your “two cents,” thanks for it. I don’t know why change is so often resisted and difficult, when it truly is the nature of everything. A paradox.

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