“He Never Said a Bad Word About Anybody!”

These are words spoken by the devastated wife of my friend who died suddenly and absolutely unexpectedly just four days ago, John Goldhammer. Nazarita, his wife, spoke in shocked disbelief after a sudden massive heart attack came without warning to this gentle man who was so optimistic and enthused about his life. I had just spoken to him at length the day before his death and he was in bright spirits and good humor.

John and Nazarita have been friends of mine for more than 30 years, though the chess board of life has moved us around many times to a variety of locations. In this past year, John, who wrote the wonderful book Radical Dreaming, and I have been talking on a weekly basis helping each other with our dreams. One week we worked on my dreams, the next week on his. He has been an invaluable source of strength, insight, encouragement, humor, wisdom, support and heart in my life. And in all of the time I have worked with him I can second what Nazarita said about him the morning after his death, “He never said a bad word about anybody!”

In his honor I want to challenge myself to live this way from now to forever. And I want to invite anyone else who feels inspired, to do the same. This committment can be the John Goldhammer Memorial of harmlessness, optimism, compassion and goodness.

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2 Responses to ““He Never Said a Bad Word About Anybody!””

  1. Darita-Rose Alden Says:

    Ann Ree made this as a personal vow. This summer I did a ritual in which I made that same commitment. I fall down on this often. I’m glad that someone lived in the world who succeeded! It’s inspiring.

  2. A mutual friend Says:

    This news came, as such things do, as a complete and unexpected surprise. Time and distance had separated my association with John. But even those factors do not ever eclipse the memory of life experiences shared. He offered me valuable guidance and direction at a time when I needed it the most. I honor him for that gift and for the long-term impact it has had on my life.

    He was a gifted man who had a knack for seeing the meaning in dreams and mandalas. He was also a bit mysterious and knowable only to a certain degree. But he was equally curious about that which was mysterious in others. His dry wit, subtle laughter and quiet delight gave him an almost child-like demeanor. May he make the transition to the realm of spirit with equal delight and curiosity. And may he rest in peace.

    For the living, to help with this passing, take a look at http://www.mellen-thomas.com/.

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