Posts Tagged ‘Dag Hammarsjkold’

Yes

February 16, 2010

I just ran into these words by Dag Hammarsjkold:

“I don’t know who – or what – put the question. I don’t know when it was put. I don’t even remember answering. But at some moment I did answer Yes to someone – or something – and from that hour I was certain that existence is meaningful and that, therefore, my life, in self-surrender has a goal. From that moment I had known what it means ‘not to look back’ and ‘take no thought for the morrow.'”

I actually do remember saying Yes, but, like Hammarsjkold, “I don’t know who – or what – put the question.” I was walking in my house after a long day at the grounds where I was in the ministry, a husband and two small children with me, my arms as full as they could get of stuff – diaper bags, toys, blankets, purse – and as I stood in front of the couch about to plop everything down on it I felt coming from the deepest, wildest, most mysterious and unknown part of me an enormous Yes sound. It took my breath away. It wasn’t a happy kind of “yes.” It was soul-shaking and sobering. This might be the most real moment I can ever remember. I knew something had happened, a decision had been made. I didn’t know what the question was, only that the answer is definitely Yes.

That moment stays with me always. As I’m sitting on the mountain right now, not having been able to make it to the dream groups I had scheduled in town the last two days because snow is falling, wind is howling, and this has been one of the most challenging and isolating winters of my life, I remember that I said Yes. Hundreds, maybe thousands of times in the 20-some years since then, I remember that I said Yes. I still don’t know what the question is, but the answer is sure.

I was thrilled to find the words by this great man saying something that feels so personal to me. I will confess though that the last six words he states, “take no thought for the morrow” are still a challenge for me. Maybe this is why I needed to find this quote right now. I feel if I could ground that thought in my being everything would be in place. Lord hear our prayers.