The power of a musical phrase is more than we can comprehend. I remember some years ago feeling deeply that if I could reincarnate as anything in the world it would be as a musical phrase in Mozart’s Requiem that explodes my heart and moves my consciousness every time it sounds, or is even remembered. I thought — that is what I want to be, something that simply pure, moving and enlightening.
Last night a phrase of music in Paul McCartney’s tune called Anyway, the opening notes that also repeat in the song, sounded in my mind over and over again as I went in and out of a very troubled sleep. It was on autoplay, I wasn’t trying to hear or remember it. Finally it felt like the music moved me to a heart place where I could tolerate the deep discomfort and sorrow I was feeling. After going in and out of sleep with that one phrase repeating and sustaining me, I awakened to a decision that I was not even imagining I might be called to make right now, a big and difficult one.
As I went through today attempting to assimilate the night’s work, the phrase kept repeating. I now believe that it was the actual, literal physics of that music took me to where I needed to go in consciousness. Even now I can only sustain the intensity of the decision I made if I recall it.
Anyway. Music is a power. Beyond description or comprehension. Divine. Intense. A reckoning.
Doctortayria's Blog 
January 12, 2011 at 12:44 pm |
I was so moved by what you said about the power of music. What a message! I’m very curious about the big decision you are contemplating. I’d love to hear more, but if it’s private, I understand. I wish you well all the time and hope that we can meet someday.
I also am in sympathy with having to make big decisions because as I’m easing back into my job at UC Irvine, even though I love to teach and need the health insurance desperately since my COBRA is running out, I’m realizing that I don’t want to keep working there beyond this year. Most weeks, if you teach two classes, you have to grade close to 150 small assignments each week, three sets of 46. And then there are the huge big papers that happen twice a 10-week term. So I’m starting to work toward creating and manifesting my dream job, one that would keep me in an insurance health plan, and would give me an opportunity to do the things I really love, writing, teaching, healing work, and even singing when I get my voice back. I’ve watched two friends manifest major things like this in their life–even beyond their dreams–and if they can do it, I can do it.
January 12, 2011 at 5:23 pm |
Joy, I thought to respond to you in a private e-mail, but I will take the leap of courage to say that the big decision is that I am thinking it won’t be sustainable for me to live on the mountain any more. I haven’t been home in a month because of weather, and it is wearing me out. I’ll see what inspirations come now, but that is what cracked through with the music. I felt the notes facilitating it – really an interesting sensation. I know you can create the job that will suit you, Joy. Cast your net and pull it in, you have strong, gorgeous energy. It will happen. Keep me posted. All the best with UC Irvine in the meantime. xo