Surrender and Holding

Certain experiences that the universe has to offer cannot be had unless a person is willing to surrender, utterly let go and let the experience happen. The deepest spaces of joy, of grief, of love, sorrow or ecstasy often are never allowed for in human nature, are maybe never even really felt in a whole lifetime, as we seem to be trained to hold on to ourselves rather than surrender. “I don’t want to lose myself,” I remember hearing one person say coming up to such a border. That person denied the experience. This is surely not uncommon; in fact it is most common. May we need to ask ourselves, what or who is this “self” that we are protecting, that we don’t want to lose? Is it a real self, or a false or limited construction of self that we fear will be lost or dissolved in such an event? If the surrender is allowed, might we finally meet our true nature?

The perceived danger is real. The self that we are afraid to let go of will most likely be lost in such a fire.

Coming upon such a dangerous precipice yesterday I suddenly found myself breathing, not through my nose and lungs as usual, but instead through my feet and the crown of my head, a vertical breath going through the body and chakra system. I have never heard of such a thing, and it seemed odd, but as I worked with it a strength began infusing me. I felt – I can hold on and surrender at the same time. I may be able to really let go, let the wildness of the big energies consume and even annihilate me and at the same time I will not be lost; in fact I might be found. This felt new; like a whole new sense of how to live, a new power being discovered.

2 Responses to “Surrender and Holding”

  1. Jerry R. O'Neill Says:

    I’m reminded of the reiki healing treatments I received earlier this year. Are what you descibe here and reiki related?

    • Tayria Ward Says:

      Jerry, I imagine that your intuition is correct. I have had Reiki treatments, my sister does Reiki also. I don’t know that I understand it’s principles all that clearly, and what I wrote about here is new to me, even, so I’m not sure about the correlation. But it sounds right. So much to learn!

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