Re-entering Solitude

I have been travelling recently, and will be again soon. But home life in the last years for me has been about adapting to a large degree of solitude, so that when I come home again the life of the world quickly disappears and the solitude takes over in its immensity very quickly. I remember a line of Rilke’s in Letters to a Young Poet in which he asks the poet to imagine what it would be like to suddenly be taken out of one’s room in the world and placed upon a mountaintop; that he might then feel the most “annihilating sense of abandonment.” He says that it is a similar experience to one who realizes his solitude. My little doggie is dying in his bed right now, not much longer for the world, and I am going outside to sleep in my cocoon under the stars and to listen to the forest. The gravity and enormity of this solitude engulfs us, its reality at this point larger than the populated world that we also inhabit. We are at home in it.

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4 Responses to “Re-entering Solitude”

  1. ljcollins Says:

    Coco?!

  2. Tayria Ward Says:

    Yes, Laura, Coco. He has suddenly become deaf, then blind, and because he’s blind he just walked right off a porch and now his back is in constant pain and he can hardly walk. I don’t know where all of this is going. If his back gets better he may adjust to the other conditions. It is a wait and see thing. I love him so much. It’s very sad.

  3. ljcollins Says:

    I’m so sorry. What a dear little soul he is. He might yet bounce back. Sandy has been mostly blind and deaf for almost two years now and on pain-killers for back pain for about a year and yet she still seems to enjoy a certain quality of life — playing with our young dog, happily barking at the other dogs passing by, wagging her tail whenever her loved ones approach. But if he needs to let go, so be it. What a deep sadness that will be.

  4. Tayria Ward Says:

    I haven’t heard Coco bark in a long time, I think because he can’t hear or see what he normally would bark at. And I don’t think he can wag his tail now because of the back pain. But I’m going to take your story about Sandy as a sign of hope and being optimistic. Thank you. I think we both need for me to be more optimistic rather than scared and sad.

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