Seeing Through

Yesterday I had a momentary flash or vision in which I saw a crack in the matrix or whatever the proper word would be for this veil of our consensual reality. I saw right through it for one split second, like a crack in everything. It was as though all of this that we see and think is matter and is real is just a projection on a movie screen. If there is a crack in a movie screen, there’s a crack in the picture. I saw that crack yesterday. And I saw that like a sight, not a concept in the mind. I wasn’t thinking about anything at all, I was  just walking across my living room.

At the same time I saw that the matrix is me, and the crack is in me. The revelation seemed to be that these many frustrations I have about myself – wishing to be able to change bad habits, or to be smart about money, to be clearer about what I am doing, the seemingly endless list –  are all just illusions. For that split second I saw through it. I could see that I can do anything I want and change anything I want to about myself. What I saw was real, as real as anything I have ever seen. It was a glimpse briefer than a split second. And I don’t feel a bit changed today except for having seen that.

Today I thought of Buddha sitting under the Bodhi tree, just sitting there, refusing to move until he saw through the illusion. He stayed there for a long period of time until he finally saw through.His life’s message was to impart that the nature of reality is illusion, and that every single one of us have the capacity to see through it; that Buddha is not different from us, he is the same as us. (Just as an aside here, I am often sad that many Christians think that Jesus’ message was that He is different from us, that it is anathema to think we have the same nature as him. Priests made that up because they actually thought they were better than everybody. It is a tragic misinterpretation in my view.) 

My thought today is that we are all Buddhas, that the Bodhi tree is everywhere and we are always sitting under it if we want to. And that just like Siddhartha Gautama we can see through. I personally do not believe that we have to be perfect, or fasting, or yoga masters, or ascetics, or without sin, or poor, or even disciplined, we can see through the illusion. And it’s all illusion. Lovely, wonderful, fascinating, brilliant, gorgeous, horrible, outrageous, exciting, frustrating illusion. 

When Jesus was baptized and when he died, they say the sky split. He split the sky. We can split the sky. Einstein split the sky. These great teachers are telling us the truth about what we are and what is so. I’m going to really thing about that crack I saw yesterday. Am I supposed to be able to sustain it, or act on it? I’m not sure. I’ll keep sitting under the tree.

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