In Training

Yesterday I’m pretty sure I wasn’t listening to Sky Light,  the new name given to me in a dream for my internal feminine wisdom. When I left the mountain to go into Asheville to have dinner with some friends, I had checked the weather forecast carefully, as well as consulting with experienced mountain friends. All signs said go, have some fun. To the surprise of local forecasters, suddenly the roads between here and there became solid ice. By the time I got far enough into it to realize what was happening I didn’t know whether it would be safer to turn back or to get to my friend’s house in town. It was the most treacherous drive I have taken in my long life. Accidents lined the roads, cars were spinning and sliding. On the Interstate my car fishtailed across three lanes back and forth several time before I got some traction again, thankfully while still on the highway. Since the road was crowded, I feel it was a miracle that during the moments I was swerving there weren’t any cars in the lanes next to me or close behind me. Had there been we would for sure have become a spinning mass of tangled metal. After I straightened out, in my rear view mirror I watched a car come to that same patch of ice and have a terrible accident. On both sides of the Interstate emergency vehicles were sounding their sirens. This went on for miles.

My recent dream told me to “Just listen to Sky Light.” While in this mess I thought about this. It was clear to me that had I listened to and trusted my inner voice that way, instead of casting about externally for information, the message would have been,  “Stay home. This could be a risk you don’t want to make.” It was right there, and I could see in retrospect how I had walked right past it, had not stopped to listen or to give it respect and proper attention. By great good fortune I got safely to where I was going, and then today the sky opened up with bright sunshine just long enough to melt the ice so I could scoot back home. Here I am, warm inside, shaken, while a huge snowfall is coming down outside that may lock us in for days.

Listening to Sky Light might require some boot camp-like training for me. I’m a stubborn Taurus, trained by inclination and enculturation to charge ahead. Slowing down, carefully listening, learning to read internal signals discerningly, (which one is wisdom, which is fear, which is laziness?) and then training my will to obey the wisdom voice – this could be a humbling journey. I hope to find that I have a knack for it.

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